Can We Get The Orchestra to Play Over Ashton Kutcher Now?

  Hey there, Ashton. I see your acceptance speech went somewhat viral on the internet because at least 3 of my facebook friends shared it, but I just don't see how it's anything special...

If an unshaven man is announcing Ashton Kutcher's name
with an indoor projection of the ocean shore in the background,
in front of a crowd of uncontrollably loud teenage girls...

and then hands Ashton Kutcher a surfboard, I have
a difficult time taking this whole video seriously.
Who is that person on the left? Are we supposed to care?

   That being said, you're a lovely gentleman I'm sure, Mr. Chris Ashton Kutcher. Nothing personal from here on.
   It's just that.. in my previous blog about (That's So) Raven-Symoné, I pointed out the fact that our media wouldn't leave her alone until we were all aware that she likes pussy instead of cock. Pardon my French. 

Just so you don't forget this cutie.     

    But in all seriousness, isn't there something a little messed up when the entertainment industry focuses so much attention on the very concept of a particular person's sexuality? With all of the questions we could be asking about celebrities, the "news" moguls tend to linger far too much on whether someone is gay or not. That curiosity should be a thing of the past, people. 
  
   But anyway, how does this relate to Ashton Kutcher's acceptance speech roughly a week ago at the Teen Choice Awards? Because it was nothing but a stunt pulled on a crappy annual TV special that is strictly used to retain mediocre entertainment within a highly exploited teenage market, disguised as "motivational". In other words, the Teen Choice Awards shouldn't be taken very seriously. 
     Maybe it's because teenagers are fed so much garbage from all different directions that Ashton Kutcher felt the need to somewhat reveal what's behind the curtain of Hollywood. Or maybe he was feeding his own ego. You can never really tell with celebrities. They're just living their lives the same way the popular kids from high school did. 

After all, didn't the popular jocks always have this attitude 
when showing off their trophies at an all school assembly after
winning state? (I went to a white bread high school like Ashton).

     The point being, when celebrities like Ashton Kutcher have nothing interesting to say anymore, they tend to reach out to an audience with poor taste and pretend like they do. In the case of the former That 70's Show star, he reached out to teens. And because his acceptance speech has over 3 MILLION views in less than a week of being on youtube, he has kept his career healthy for a while. Or so he thinks...
      3 million will be nothing in a matter of weeks. Days maybe. Here's the problem for Mr. Chris: he is a screen entertainer. Not an internet entertainer. His downward spiral is showing through the subpar sales in "Jobs" over the recent weekend. Ashton Kutcher's career is all about being likable in the box offices and television ratings.  It has nothing to do with being thoughtful. It has nothing to do with being generous. And it really isn't about being smart, because that can be left to your agent. It's about being physically attractive, having common sense, and not making an embarrassment of yourself like he did a week ago. 
       To give Ashton Kutcher some credit, I do think he decided to pursue this career at the right age. He said he was 19 when he had the maturity to protect his name (much like my obsession, Marilyn Monroe). Any younger and there would be no way he could survive the pressure of the lifestyle with his ridiculous ego. Why? Because HE'S STILL ACTING LIKE A TEENAGER. 
       Giving a speech like that says a lot beneath the surface. If he was giving a speech like this when in his prime (That 70's Show), it would've made a lot more sense because he was closer to the age of the audience. I understand that the 35-year-old Ashton Kutcher plays the role of Steve Jobs, but his acceptance speech comes across as if he is Steve Jobs. Or at least as if he's as accomplished as him.
       Except he isn't. Ashton Kutcher is really only more accomplished in the area of making underage girls wet at a fake awards show. Can you imagine if we reacted the same way when Apple revealed the iPhone5? HE knows his targeted audience, because they applaud more at him using the word "sexy" than they do at his actual mention of Steve Jobs. And that's sad, because he's been acting for 15 years now...

and all he got was a crappy surfboard. 

     Ashton, you've had your time to ride the wave of popularity. Now get off the stage and hand it to the most talented 20 year-old out there today: the gnarly Miley Cyrus. No just kidding. Don't do that. But for real, we all have enough to remember you by: That 70's Show, Punk'd, Dude, Where's my Car?, and that hilarious marriage to Demi Moore. 

      And don't forget to thank the Teen Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in the beginning next time. We'll be busy reminiscing your glory days as the charming, clumsy teen from Wisconsin.

And iiiiiiiiiii will alwayyyyys love youuuuuu (Kelso)

Celebrity Zoo: Raven Symoné

http://www.eonline.com/news/445392/raven-symone-s-gay-marriage-tweet-explained-star-not-getting-married-but-it-s-great-to-know-i-can-now

Is the cute little girl from the Cosby Show a lesbian?

How adorable. From a young age, she entertained us with her
bold personality. Can we honestly be surprised she's gay? 

 Duh! Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Like, why even write about this? Everyone grows up. Some of us are lucky enough to grow up and be gay, actually.
 I get that she's been in front of cameras her whole life, so the public would naturally be interested in what team she plays for. I remember watching "That's So Raven" when I was a kid, and it wasn't bad for Disney Channel. It also wasn't a show that Catholics had a problem with. A little ironic now, right?
  My point is that we've seen her transition from a little girl to the grown woman she is today. Here she is in the mid 2000s:

This look just screams "I can do better than men, damnit!"

And recently, this photo surfaced on the internet. Apparently the woman on the left is her significant other, and a professional model. Only settling for the most beautiful? That's So Raven!

Look how happy she is! That's all that matters, right?

 My opinion: some of us are fortunate enough to find happiness in being who we are, even if it makes us different. Celebrities are no exception.
 But maybe the reason Raven hasn't appeared on the cover of an entertainment magazine (like man-whore Lance Bass circa 2006) to exploit her sexual preference is because she doesn't feel the need to do so. If she doesn't want to to share detailed aspects of her personal life, then we ought to respect that. In fact, we should be thanking her. Think about it: do we really need another celebrity to assume they have the privilege to share their private lives with the rest of us and then have the nerve to expect we actually care about him/her that much?
 I think Raven knows that there are people out there who don't want her life to be private. Because privacy for famous people like her doesn't profit for anyone.
  For a change, I'll be the one who predicts the future for Raven. If she stays this classy and draws attention to her because of her work rather than personal affairs, then we'll be seeing her around for many years to come. Her very serious fans may be obsessed with that, but the rest of us will simply look back, smile, and think...

At least Ellen paved the way for Raven, by coming out on a legitimate magazine so the former Cosby starlet wouldn't have to years later.

Eden

What a beautiful name, huh? Eden. Nice girl dog name. Of course, what comes to mind with that word, for someone raised Catholic, is the name of God's garden for Adam and Eve. These days, I've dismissed the obvious inaccuracies of that story because I thought it was told as a simplified explanation of how mankind came to be. But if you think about it, the story is kind of dramatic. If God the Creator is so passionate and forgiving, then why didn't he give Adam and Eve a second chance for them to prove their loyalty? All they did was eat a piece of fruit. To destroy the paradise of Eden because of that? I think you're going a little overboard there, God...
It seems like Eden was the victim while Eve was used as a scapegoat to justify God's wrath that his children obeyed him. But I'm into conspiracy theories sometimes. Guilty pleasure. It's because I love drama.
It never really occurred to me the severity of this story until yesterday. Yes, I know there are people my age who actually believe Adam and Eve existed, detail to detail with the Bible, but I never assumed any of them were intelligent enough to be students at the University of Wisconsin. Then last night, there was a Badger who told me he doesn't "believe in dinosaurs". What? How? He seemed capable of receiving good grades in school, but he was nonetheless a miseducated Christian who clearly wasn't in any UW life sciences departments. You can bet that nobody who truly appreciates science can deny evolution. But it's dangerous not to appreciate science. Because it can lead to ridiculous beliefs that are taken as facts by the general public.
I have a few theories as to why there are people who still literally believe in the Garden of Eden as opposed to what science tells us, and how they're tied in with our struggle for social justice. This will be my blog for those theories. Women, get ready. Men, get ready. You're going to hear a lot of free speech from Harper Phillips.

This is a fantastic musical. Good music, and it really
challenges what we thought we knew about the Old
Testament. Musicals can change people's minds about
a particular subject, that's why I love them!